One of the hardest parts of deciding whether you should give your cheating partner a second chance is wondering if they’ll have another affair. There’s no way to know for sure what the future will bring but there are signs to watch for that can be a good indicator that they’ll cheat again:
They don’t act sorry.
They put themselves first.
They’re acting suspicious.
They live in a cheating culture.
They’ve cheated in past relationships.
They’re not working on the relationship.
You get a bad feeling.
Saying you’re sorry and acting like it are two very different things. You might notice that your partner apologized like crazy after cheating but they didn’t really change their behaviour. They might just be sorry that they got caught. If they are truly remorseful they’ll show it and you’ll be able to see how badly they feel. If they’re not actually sorry for having an affair there’s a good chance they’re going to cheat again.
If your partner is the one that cheated then they should be bending over backwards to keep you happy, but if the opposite is true you might have good reason to think they’ll cheat again. If they still are focusing on themselves and their own needs you might want to be wary of them cheating again. When they don’t really think that cheating on you was wrong then they won’t go out of their way to make it up to you.
Second time affairs look just like first time offenses do. If you see your partner acting shady, working later than usual, finding excuses to be out of the house, and taking calls in private, then there’s a good chance they’re having another affair or are headed towards infidelity again. If you notice your partner slipping back into familiar suspicious behaviours there’s a chance that they’re up to no good. Use the usual ways to tell if they had an affair and see if you’re noticing those behaviours sneaking back in.
You might be the only person around your partner that values monogamy, and this is something that should be worrying. If your partner was brought up in a home where affairs were normal thing, or they surround themselves with friends who cheat, then those values might be having a negative influence on their current choices. For some people adultery isn’t a big deal because they see it as normal, so if your partner is surrounded by other cheaters and they’ve already been unfaithful there’s a good chance they will do it again.
Sometimes affairs are a one time occurrence, but if your partner cheated on you and has also cheated in past relationships then it’s likely that they’ll just keep doing it. It’s easier to believe that it was a one time thing if you know they have a clean track record in their other relationships, but if you know they’ve been unfaithful in the past you should be worried.
If you’re trying to move on after an affair then you and your partner are likely doing a number of things to help fix the relationship like couples therapy or scheduling regular date nights together. When you notice that you’re the only one putting in an effort then you might want to take a closer look at what your partner is up to instead of working on repairing the relationship like they’re supposed to be.
Of all the ways to tell if they will cheat, nothing beats your intuition. No matter how sorry your partner says they are, or what the circumstances of the affair were, you can tell if they’ll do it again based on your gut feelings. If you just don’t have a good feeling and can’t shake the feeling that they’re going to cheat again, then listen to your instincts instead of waiting around to be walked all over again and again.