Dating a cheater
Dating a cheater: Being the other woman
I often chuckle to myself when I see the statistics on the number of men that admit to cheating on their significant other. One estimate I read was under 20 percent, which I find unbelievably low. Another statistic has the numbers well over the 30 percentile range. Reports have it that women are cheating more as they progress in the workplace. It’s possible that they actually cheat more than men. How can any reported claims be accurate? I find it highly doubtful that men or women are eager to shout it from the mountain tops that they actively engage in extramarital affairs. A bit more plausible, are the numbers reported by spouses who say they would have an affair if they knew they would not get caught. The secrecy of an affair is often the source of the excitement. Whether it be boredom or an opportunity of convenience, cheating is a commonplace in our society. One must wonder what would compel somebody to date a cheater. If you have ever been “the other woman,” then you were dating a cheater. If you succumbed to the seductive enticement of your best friends wife, you were dating a cheater.
A relationship with a cheater is highly desired by those people with commitment phobias. You will never endure the stress of meeting his friends, or parents, or attending his workplace annual Christmas party. All social pressures and fears of peer acceptance are eliminated. Furthermore, you are free to lead your single life, doing what you want, with whom you want. Speaking for myself and probably other women, there is less drama when dating a cheater. Expectations are low when you willingly “get into bed” with an otherwise committed man. So, there is not much to argue about nor can there be many disappointments. You know he will know be not with you during the holidays. He will definitely not spend the night. I had always found that as the other woman, I was treated like a queen. I always was the lucky recipient of his best demeanor. It was like I was a respite from his other world; a vacation of sorts from his otherwise dull life. Dating a cheater has its’ obvious disadvantages. For instance, you must be careful not to be seen in public. This means you can not participate in the “normal” dating rituals such as a a nice night out for dinner and a movie. Affair dating generally means a bootie call, whether it takes place in a motel room, the back seat of the car, or the broom closet at work. You can not allow yourself to become emotionally involved. Falling in love is a recipe for disaster and a sure fire way to have your heart broken. If you decide to date a cheater, you must be willing to relinquish all expectations of fidelity. Conversely, the likelihood is that you will find that he cheats on you at some point as well. Cheating and dating is tricky business. For all intents and purposes, both parties are the cheaters. If you are aware that he has a wife or significant other, you carry equal weight in the infidelity. Therefore, you too are a participating cheater. But there are advantages to dating a cheater.
Friends with a cheater
Being friends with a cheater can be dicey business. It results in innumerable moral dilemmas. Your friend may ask you to “cover” for him/her while they rendezvous with their lover. You are put in a position of trying to remember someone’s lies. It can be exceptionally difficult if you know the person being deceived into believing they are in a monogamous relationship. Once again, you become an accomplice simply by knowing. You find yourself caught in the middle and you are forced to betray somebody, either with silence or with honesty. Is it fair to be placed in this positions at all? The foundations of friendship are trust and honesty. Are either possible with a cheater?